Another Year Wiser?

"I love getting older. My understanding deepens.

I can see what connects. I can weave stories of 

experience and apply them. I can integrate the lessons.

Things simply become more and more fascinating.

Beauty reveals itself in thousands of forms."

-Victoria Erickson

I just turned another year older, but does that make me wiser as well? I'm 23 now and I'm not where I thought I would be, but I know I'm where I'm supposed to be. I also think that I am more myself than I've ever been. I decided to write down the things I've learned this year, so here it goes. 22 things I learned in my 22nd year of life:

1. Makeup doesn't measure your worth or beauty. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin - you shouldn't have to use makeup as a security.

2. Everyone has a story and a past. Everyone acts the way they do for a reason. The best thing we can do is love people, for everything they are and everything they aren't.

3. Don't ever accept anything less than what you deserve. (I'm still trying to learn this one)

4. Singing does wonders for the soul. So sing your heart out. Sing in the shower. Sing in the car. Sing karaoke every chance you get.. even if you're terrible. Just sing.

5. You have to test your limits and take a step outside of your comfort zone once a week. How else will you know how brave you can be?

6. The best thing you can do for someone is lend a helping hand and/or a listening ear.

7. It's nearly impossible to be sad while eating ice cream. So eat ice cream every chance you get. Seriously. If you get fat, at least you'll be fat and happy, right?

8. It's okay to do something for yourself that nobody else understands.

9. We need to spend time with little kids. Children teach us much more about love and compassion than we'll ever be able to teach them.

10. Crying is okay, especially in front of someone else. It may be healing for both of you. 

11. Take the time to go on long night drives. They'll give you the best alone time that you never knew you needed.

12. You can still choose to be happy & positive even when everyone around you is crabby & negative. Sometimes it's hard, but it is possible.

13. Hug people until they let go first. They usually need that hug more than you think they do.

14. It is so important to spend time outside under the stars. They were created by the same God who created us.

15. You will only hurt yourself if you waste time hating someone. It is okay to take some time to hate what they did, but also forgive and don't let it define them.

16. Always have money set aside for vacations or spontaneous trips. Sometimes we need to take a break and explore.

17. Life isn't always fair, and it's not supposed to be. But just because it isn't fair, doesn't mean it's not a good life.

18. It's okay to be the only person who believes in the impossible.

19. Choose to spend time with the people who believe in you and who love the things you have a hard time liking about yourself.

20. Comparing yourself to others will either make you feel superior or inferior. Everyone was made to be equal.

21. There is more good than bad in the world, you just have to look for it.

22. Now is the best time to do something new. Later may not always be a possibility. 

I may not be who I thought I was going to be, but I like who I am and who I'm becoming. I'm so grateful that I survived another year, so I'll just keep living and learning as long as God allows me to.

Love, Miss KatieBug <3

Love During Tragedy

1999: Columbine, 12 killed.

2007: Virginia Tech, 32 killed.

2012: Aurora, 12 killed.

2012: Sandy Hook, 27 killed.

2016: Pulse Nightclub, 49 killed.

2017: Route 91 Festival, 59+ killed.

Las Vegas was not the first mass shooting of my lifetime, and sadly, I'm sure it won't be the last either. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone involved in such terrible tragedies. I've been trying to write this post for a couple days now, but my heart is so broken and I can't help but cry when I think about it. I don't want to take away from the grief and pain people are feeling. I don't want or mean to offend anyone with this post, but I feel like there are some things I should say about this matter. Some will agree with me, some won't, and that's okay. Here is what I believe:

[To start off, my whole blog is centered around mental illness and suicide awareness. I've been through it and I've spent a lot of time learning about it. It hits close to home for me and I'd love to make more people aware. I realize that some people will never truly understand depression, anxiety, and/or any other kind of chemical imbalance in the brain. But I'm asking you to hear me out and bear with me on this next part.]

#1. Terrorism is defined as "the use of violence or threat of violence in the pursuit of political aims, religious, or ideological change. It can only be committed by non-state actors or undercover personnel serving on the behalf of their respective governments." So was it really a terrorist attack? I don't believe it was. It was a personal problem inside of himself. Why he felt like he needed to kill so many innocent people before taking his own life.. we'll never know the answer. But I do know one thing. No person in their right mind would ever go on a killing spree. I have heard several people explain the unfairness of how whites always get let off for mental illness; whereas, anyone of another race is accused of terrorism. Truthfully, it all stems from the brain. No normal, happy person will kill innocent people. Put race, gender, religion, etc. aside for once. It is all mental illness in the case of taking lives. Supposedly the ones we call "terrorists" grow up learning that they'll make it to the highest level of heaven by killing themselves, along with others, for government or religious reasons. Is that not a mental illness? They grow up learning it, which is changing the way their brain is programmed. It is causing a chemical imbalance to the point of them not being able to understand right from wrong. Terrorism or not, every attack can be linked back to some kind of illness or imbalance in the brain.

#2. This is not a gun control problem. I wish I could post those words everywhere and explain it in a way that will make sense to people. If someone wants a gun, illegal or not, they will find a way to get a gun. If someone wants to kill people, they will also find a way to do so. Guns don't kill people; people kill people. Auto weapons are already illegal, but the gunman used one anyway. Mexico has strict gun control, but their murder rate is 5 times higher than the U.S. Thousands of people died on September 11, 2001, but not a single gun was used. So please, someone explain how gun control will help the situation. It's a hate problem. Hate for the country. Hate for the president. Hate for each other and sometimes ourselves.

#3. So many people out there believe that there isn't a God because He "let's things like this happen". First of all, God doesn't make our decisions for us. Could God have stopped the attack if He wanted to? Sure He could have. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason though and I think awful things like this bring the nation closer. Every time a tragedy happens, whether it be a terrorist attack like 9/11 or a mass shooting, we all learn to love a little harder. We realize that there are good people in the world. We stand together and fight for the things we believe in. We grow closer to our families and we learn to say the important things because we never know when the words we say will be our last to someone. It's terrible that we need bad things to teach us this, but maybe for now it's our only way of learning. Things happen in the blink of an eye, and I think we understand life better after a tragedy happens. Prayers are answered, so let's pray for healing and peace. Pray for the families of the ones who lost their lives. Pray for every first responder and person who put their life on the line to save others. Pray for the family of the gunman. They're confused and hurting just like everyone else.

#4. There is more good than bad in the world. One coward stood at his hotel room window to shoot into a large crowd of people for no reason. Several people stood in that crowd sacrificing their lives and using their own body to shield and protect strangers. Hundreds of people lined up, no questions asked, to donate blood and save lives. Thousands of people cried, prayed, and donated money to the many GoFundMe accounts that were created for the victims. So let's honor the people who have lost their lives by living a little better and loving a little more with every breath we take. We don't know when we'll take our last.

I know that this post is very sensitive and controversial. Many people will disagree with it. I just felt like I needed to speak up and try helping others understand some of the important topics, even if it's just my own opinion. My heart truly goes out to everyone who lost a friend or loved one in any of the past tragedies of this world. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, usually the best people. Hold onto the memories and don't let the bad things make you bitter. Resentment will only hurt you, so choose love and kindness to make you stronger. We all have different battles to fight and demons to face. "But I say to you who hear: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you... And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise." -Luke 6:27

I love and pray for you all.
Love, Miss KatieBug <3

To Hit Rock Bottom

"...You might have hit rock bottom, but it's the perfect place to start,
Where the only thing that you can hear is the beating of your heart,
You have to almost lose it to remember what you've had,
And that there's been a share of good times mixed in between the bad,
So don't wait for the ending until your last breath starts to leave,
Before you finally remember how much you like to breathe."
-e.h.

It's suicide awareness month again. This year, it wasn't me. It was my beautiful little sister. The warning signs were everywhere and we all saw them. She had never been to the doctor for it. She never tried medication. She silently struggled every day, alone in her room. The depression was there. The anxiety was there. We didn't need a doctor to tell us that, because we could see it. But you can't help someone who isn't ready to be helped. Sometimes, you just have to let them hit rock bottom. In April of this year, my sister hit her rock bottom. She hit the point of hopelessness that she didn't think she could recover from. Nobody saw it coming--not that soon anyway. Alone in her room, late at night, my little sister swallowed more than a handful of pills. Which is a lot, especially for a tiny 98 pound girl.

    "It was such a quick decision. I didn't even really think what I was about to do. What everyone who loved me would do if I was gone. I never thought about any of that. The only thing I was thinking was 'everything here is too hard for me and I can't be here anymore'. It was so hard feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and I just wanted all of it to be gone. I felt like I was a burden for just being here and that was so hard on me. As soon as I did it, I realized it was something that I didn't want. I want to be here, I just needed help."

If it wasn't for her friends, my sister wouldn't be here today. She called one of them and he knew something was wrong, so he drove straight there and took her to the emergency room. At that point, she was almost completely incoherent. I'll never forget the messages I was receiving from my 13 year old sister after she found out what our other sister had done. She called me crying, but I live an hour away and I was at work. I thought I was never going to see my sister again. We were all terrified.

     "I never knew how many people actually cared for me until I had people coming into my hospital room and just crying to me about what I had done. It's something that I will never do again because once I did it I realized how much I really did want to be here. It takes time to get better and you just have to be patient about it and push yourself to get better."

She had to drink charcoal to absorb the meds, just like I did. But she was in the hospital for a few days so the doctors could observe the tylenol levels in her system. I don't think she ever spent a minute alone in there. Family was by her side the whole time. Once she was released, she was admitted into BHC. Same as me three years ago. And I knew it was the best place for her, even though she fought it. She was in there for about 5 days.

     "At the time, BHC seemed like the worst idea and I did not want to go at all. When I look back on it, I realize that I learned a lot of coping skills and how many other people are going through the same thing as I am. Sometimes you feel absolutely alone and it's so terrifying."

Today, she is okay. She still struggles each day but she's slowly getting better. She has a counselor now. She is on medication. She decided that online school was the best option for her. She was even able to get an emotional support animal. 

     "I deserve to be here, and I'm glad I'm still here. It was something that was so hard for me and something that I'll never do again. I will never forget that day and how scared I was."

Depression doesn't care how old or how young you are. It doesn't care if you are pretty, skinny, or smart. It's a darkness of the mind that feeds off of the smallest insecurities. Depression is one of the worst illnesses, because it can't be seen on the outside. Sometimes suicide feels like the only option, but there is help and there is hope. You are not alone. Once you've hit rock bottom, there is only one direction to go. And that's up. Rock bottom is just the beginning, so let it make you stronger. Don't let that darkness win. You deserve to be here. 

Love, Miss KatieBug <3

Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1 (800) 273-8255

*Dear Lacey May, you deserve to be here. You are not and never have been a burden. I'm so sorry that depression chose such a sweet girl to fight against. You are needed and wanted. You are so beautiful and I'm grateful that God sent you here to be my sister. Don't ever think you are broken. Pray for strength and courage on the hard days. And always remember that I've been where you are at. I'm here for you, no matter what. I love you more than anything.

Choose Yourself

"Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you
happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make
you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness
will not come to you. It can only come from you."

Who made you feel unworthy of being happy?

Who planted in your mind that you're unlovable?

They are wrong.

We are all born so tiny and innocent. We come into this world untouched, without ever knowing pain, unhappiness, or heartbreak. And eventually the world turns us into people we don't even recognize. It turns us against ourselves and each other. I think we're all just living the best we can, but we constantly search for affection and approval--which is just human nature. We come here with so much worth, but we tend to forget it along the way, and we seek it from others. So let me ask you a question..

What if the only approval you really need is your own? Honest answer: It is.

When we depend on the opinions of others, we lose our power. We lose the ability to see ourselves how God sees us. It makes it easier for us to forget how to be happy. We look for love because we want someone else to tell us how amazing and beautiful we are. We seem to stop believing all of the good qualities about ourselves, which means we need another person to believe them for us. But what happens when that person isn't in your life anymore? You fall apart. You blame everything on yourself and you let them hold power over you. 

"I'm not good enough for anybody." 

"I'm too fat, ugly, sensitive, annoying, etc."

"I'm broken."

You're none of these things. 

You're more than good enough. God made you, and I don't recall Him ever making a mistake. Maybe you don't look like that model in the magazine you are reading every day. You're not supposed to. Maybe you feel things so deeply that you cry more than the average person. That is okay. And you are never broken. It took me a long time to learn that one. Society uses that word too often. Broken minds, broken bones, broken hearts, broken homes, broken promises. No wonder we use it to describe ourselves too. Let me say it again though, you are not broken. You may be hurting, but you are alive and you're healing.

How would it feel to choose yourself? Stop caring what everybody else thinks, and learn to love every part of you. Start with the things you already know you like about yourself and go from there. It may only be 1 or 2 things for some of you. The more you focus on those little things, the more you'll start to see the big things. You can train your mind to see yourself differently, and when that happens, you'll be happier. You won't seek out happiness and love anymore because you'll have it inside you. So what if someone leaves your life? It's not your loss. So what if someone cancels plans or stands you up? Dress up and take yourself out--You deserve it. So what if the adversary, or satan, is against you every day? You don't have to fight him.. He already lost. 

It's you against you in this world. Choose to love yourself. Choose to be happy. Choose to depend on you. You'll win every time.

Love, Miss KatieBug <3

To The Boys Who Broke My Heart

"The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process
of loving someone too much, and forgetting
that you are special too."
-Ernest Hemingway

An open and honest letter to the boys who have "broken" my heart:

And yes, I do mean boys, because you clearly don't know how to be men. I've learned some things about myself thanks to all of you. I used to think relationships would just always work out if I fought for it and put in all of my effort. But sometimes it had nothing to do with me at all, and you were the one to blame. I'm the kind of girl who would cross oceans and move mountains for the people I love. You know this, and you took it for granted. My first heartbreak was sudden and unexpected. I thought I was completely broken and I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt like a failure and I put all of the blame on me. 10 months. That's how long it took for me to get over you, and I hated you for doing that to me. Even 6 months after you left, I was still crying every day. I don't know if you'll read this but I hope it hurts you to think about me.

I shut down after you left and I started pushing people away. I didn't go on dates because I never wanted to be that close to someone again if they were just going to leave. I blamed you for making me that way, but it couldn't possibly have been your fault. That was on me. I was putting up a wall and protecting my heart. I was turning cold and I wouldn't give myself a chance to find love, and it took me a while to learn that I wasn't being fair to myself. I've had more guys leave since you. All of you leave the same way. Either you find someone who you think is better, or you just shut me out and stop talking to me. And I just want to say thank you for leaving--I wouldn't have been able to do it on my own. You have taught me that I deserve better, because I do.

I remember a time in my life when I didn't know my self worth. I know it now. I learned how to love myself a little bit more with each piece of my heart that you guys took. But you do not get the credit for that love. The truth is, I've always known how to love, it just took longer for me to realize that I could love myself with all of the love I was giving away. Each of you said to me, "I am so lucky, and I don't deserve you." Maybe you were right. Do you know what I believe though? Every person who has lived, is living, or will live deserves all of the love this world has to offer. Whether you are good or bad--You deserve to be loved. But you'll never end up with that kind of love if you think you don't deserve it. That's the honest truth.

"We accept the love we think we deserve." -Perks of Being a Wallflower

God took you guys out of my life for a reason, but I know you won't forget me. I know you often think about how much I cared, and how I would have done anything for you. You think about every long, heartfelt text that I'd send when you were having a bad day. You think about how effortlessly and deeply I loved. Someday I'm going to find someone who loves me that same way, because I deserve it. You will never have the satisfaction of breaking me, because I can not be broken. I will not lose myself because I lost you. I'm worth more than the heartaches you caused. I'm worth more than the small amount of effort you put into our relationship. I'm worth more than you'll ever realize. But you are also worth more than you'll ever realize. I hope you find a love that sets your soul on fire.. a love that you will never have to question if you deserve it or not.

I hope that, because of me, you understand how it should feel to be loved.

Love, Miss KatieBug <3

The Truth Behind the Reasons

"If only we could see the endless string of consequences

that result from our smallest actions. But we can't

know better until knowing better is useless."

-Jay Asher, 13 Reasons Why 

*Spoiler alerts
**Trigger warnings: rape & suicide

    Everyone has been discussing the newest Netflix series, "13 Reasons Why", which is based off of the book written by Jay Asher. The series is shedding a new light (or darkness) on the realities of rape, suicide, and mental illness in the lives of high-schoolers. Back when I was a sophomore, my English teacher read the first couple chapters of this book to our class. Right at a cliff hanger, she shut the book and told us it wasn't appropriate to read at school but it was an important one to read on our own time. I searched the whole week for the book and I bought it without question. Immediately, after arriving home, I started and finished the entire book in one sitting. Yes, it is that good! 

    So, let's talk about Hannah Baker. The story is all about her. Hannah records 13 tapes to pass around to the classmates who were "reasons" for why she killed herself. Each person had to go through and listen to the tapes, then pass them on. The reasons start off as small as name calling, and turn into as serious as rape. Her classmates, as well as several people who have watched the series, believe that Hannah is just overreacting. But the truth is, if you've never been suicidal, you wouldn't understand. It always starts with the little things that wouldn't affect a normal person, and then everything starts to hurt the same. You never know how much a simple thing can affect someone who already hates them self or their life.

"...And at some point, the struggle becomes 

too much, too tiring, and you consider letting go. 

Allowing tragedy, or whatever, to happen."

    I realize that you can't blame someone else for suicide. It is a personal decision, and it always will be. But what people don't realize, is that every little awful thing they do and say to someone, could be slowly pushing them over the edge. I know this because it happened to me, and I was almost a Hannah Baker. If you've been a follower of my blog, you already know this. What you don't know is.. I wrote letters to every person who led me to the decision of wanting to end my life. I did this after the attempt. I survived, but I needed a way to heal and feel at peace. Writing has always been my way of escape. I pulled out a journal, I jotted down 10 names, and I wrote letters. They were detailed and they were not nice at all. Although, instead of ruining those people like they ruined me, I burned each letter. Those ten people did not need to know, and they never will.
    I remember though. I went through the same things as Hannah. I remember being called names. I remember being rejected, used, and hurt. I remember being raped. I remember thinking, "my life will never get better, and I can't live like this". In a short episode called "Beyond the Reasons" at the end of the series, a doctor explains, "young adults haven't fully formed their frontal lobe, or executive function as we call it, so everything that happens feels like 'this is forever'." That statement could not be more true. The teenage years are so hard and it seems like they'll never end. But guess what? They actually do end. Life has a funny way of showing us how strong we can be. Suicide survivors feel weak for a little while, but they seem to gain back a strength that they never knew existed.
    In this series, they show not one, but two rape scenes. To the people who are offended by these explicit scenes, I hope you understand that rape is something we need to learn about. It is so common, and they made those scenes uncomfortable for a reason. The producers put this out there for victims to know they're not alone, and for predators to see the pain it leaves on the person they assault. Statistics get higher and higher every year. 1 in 5 women get raped or sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Now is the time for us victims to take a stand and bring rape to people's attention. I've put my story out in the world because someday, we will get justice and our rapists will be stopped. I said no. I was lying there, stuck under the weight of his body, with all track of time lost because I could not breathe and the tears wouldn't stop falling. But him? He was fine. He got what he wanted, and I was the one who went home feeling broken.
    Now for the suicide scene. It is painful and hard to watch. They don't leave anything to the imagination in that episode. It shows everything and it is graphic. In the book, we find out that Hannah overdoses and the author just leaves it at that. In the series, however, Hannah fills up the bath tub, slits her wrists, and bleeds to death. I listened to the producers side of this story and why they chose that ending for her, but it's awfully sad. In the world today, people seem to "romanticize" suicide and they believe that there is something "beautifully tragic" about it. If you watch this episode, I promise, you will never think that again. One producer said, "The way she does it, you can't watch it and feel like it's glamorized in any way". I chose to overdose because most women choose to end their life in what they think will be a beautiful way. Watch the episode. Tell me if it's beautiful for her parents to find their only daughter dead. It doesn't matter how you do it, it's tragic any way you choose, but it's never beautiful.
   You know my story. You know Hannah's story. So what's your story? How are you changing the lives of those around you? Were you once the person who recorded the tapes, or were you the person on the tapes? Maybe you are just somebody who stands by and watches. Maybe you were someone's saving grace. Listen to the words that come out of your mouth. Choose your actions carefully. "No one knows for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people."

    Here's to the survivors (of anything), and to the people who struggle in silence:

"You're not a victim for sharing your story. 

You are a survivor setting the world on fire with your truth. 

And you never know who needs your light, your warmth, and raging courage."

-Alex Elle

Love, Miss KatieBug <3

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Our Home

"Temples are more than stone and mortar.

They are filled with faith and fasting.

They are built of trials and testimonies.

They are sanctified by sacrifice and service."

-President Thomas S. Monson

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I'm in awe at how many beautiful temples we have and the ever growing need for more. As a member of the Pocatello community, I'm ecstatic that they have announced a temple to be built in this city! As a church, we have faced persecution since the very beginning and we know how to handle it. We are not a perfect people, only the gospel, itself, is perfect. We may judge people and say things we don't mean, just like everybody else. We believe in our religion with our whole heart, and I wish Mormons received the same respect that the majority of us give to other religions and their beliefs. Here are a few things that myself (and others) have heard or read since the announcement of the new temple, and let me try to set the record straight.

"The mormons announce that they're building 5 new temples but there is poverty and starvation running rampant throughout the world."
**This point is invalid. The LDS religion is known for the charity work they do all over the world. We can afford new temples alongside of helping the poor and needy. In case you weren't aware, several hundred Mormons dedicate their lives to serving others. They continuously donate their time, money, and belongings. We help where and when we can. I've seen this first hand.

"Lol Pocatello is building a temple but said no to funding a homeless shelter???"
**First of all, this is not our religions fault. Our church pays for temples with their own money and they do not take anything, but land, from the city. Yes, Pocatello was denied a homeless shelter, and maybe nobody even knows the reason. But it could be because the city can't afford one right now. Also, the property that they would like to use for this new temple, is already owned by the LDS church.

"Don't preach equality for the building of the temple in Poky when you know most of your ward members opposed the Mosque and it's members."
**This is not the truth. A new mosque doesn't affect how we worship, so why would it matter to us? Maybe a few people were bothered by it, but "most" of us understand that we are not the only religion in this community. Muslims are very common around here, and they should have a place to worship as well. If you are not LDS, a new temple being built does not affect you in any way. Let us be excited.

Several people also made comments about how disturbing it is that we are getting a temple before certain stores or restaurants.
**Again, there is a difference in church and state/city. Not our fault. If you want something specific in the town, then go to the city hall and complain.

I realize that several people just don't understand the meaning and importance behind LDS temples, and I don't know if I can even explain it. Pocatello is considered "home" to those who grew up here. A temple is considered "home" to those who are active in the church. We don't expect any non-members to understand this concept, but we do expect you to have a little respect. If you really are so offended by a temple in your community, send a letter to our prophet. If you are angry that you aren't allowed inside of it, there is an option for you. Once the temple is built, they will do an open house for a couple weeks where it will be available to the public. You are invited.

We are proud of our temples, and we use them for sacred ordinances that maybe some of you will never understand. If you have questions, ask. If you want nothing to do with it, that's fine too. Just because Pocatello is getting a temple, doesn't mean they are undermining any other religion. What you say and do always affects others. There is no need to bash on another person's beliefs if they are different than yours. This is the kind of thing that makes the world go round. We all look and act different from each other. We all have different upbringings, beliefs, and stories to tell. That's diversity. We need to lift each other up and have more respect in this world. If something was not meant to offend or affect you, please do not let it. Be the calm in this world of constant chaos. Be the love in this world so full of judgment.

Love, Miss KatieBug  <3

A Letter to All Women

"Women were made to be warriors, full of hope and love. We were made to overcome and fight our own battles with strength and dignity. We are here to lift each other 

up and brighten the days of those around us."

-Katelyn Marie, Age 22

To the girl who is feeling weak,

To the girl who is losing herself,

To the girl who is breaking down,

To the girl who is giving up,

You are enough. Always.

Maybe right about now you don't quite know who you are and middle school is a struggle. Friends are constantly turning their backs on you and you can barely make it through school each day without falling apart. I've been there, and I'm telling you that even the toughest day will only last 24 hours. Everyday is a new day and sometimes it's best to start over. You don't have to go back to that friend who hurt you so badly that you thought you would never recover. You can move on. Focus on yourself, and love yourself despite what they say to you. Besides, all of the other kids in middle school are just trying to figure out who they are too.

Maybe you're at home dealing with your first heartbreak, and you are all out of tears to cry. Honey, this probably won't be your last. It sucks, and I know that it feels like the end of the world. You gave him everything and you loved him with a love that you didn't even know existed. It doesn't matter if you are 15 or 50, heartbreak is heartbreak and it all hurts the same. Don't you dare let this break you, and do not let someone tell you that boys aren't worth your tears. Let it out and cry until your heart starts to mend itself. It's okay and things will start looking up eventually. Everyone heals at a different pace. So cry. Cry for a day or cry for a month, but don't lose yourself because you lost him.

Maybe you're a single or young mom and you're at your breaking point. Maybe you prayed for this baby forever, and now you are struggling with postpartum depression. Life was hard enough when you were just taking care of yourself, and now you have someone that depends on you to take care of and protect them. This was not meant to be easy, and maybe you didn't even choose this. Don't listen to the ones on the outside who are judging your every move. People will try to break you down, but it's your job to get back up. Get up for your children. Get up for yourself. Get up and love this beautiful mess you are living in, because you are stronger than you think you are. Children were made to love unconditionally, and they think you are amazing. You are amazing.

Maybe you are trying to live this life in the midst of crippling anxiety and depression and you're about to give up. Maybe you consider ending your life every day. I know what this is like, and I know that you're hurting. Sweetie, carving your skin won't take away the pain. You are beautiful, and you need to realize that. Please don't hide away from the world, somebody needs you, and it could be somebody that you haven't even met yet. You can overcome this, and trust me, I know it feels impossible right now. Never let someone tell you that you're just begging for attention, or that you're being pathetic. Your struggle does not define you. Mental illness exists, and just because you have to rely on medication to get out of bed in the morning does not mean you are weak.

We are women. We feel the pressures of the world every day and sometimes it feels like too much to bear. You've come this far, so please don't give up now. The world needs you. I need you. You are doing great, and you are alive. So continue to breathe and conquer each new day that comes along. Bad days are bound to happen. Good days are promised. You are, and always will be, enough.

Love, Miss KatieBug <3