Un-Apologetically Me

"You are not defined by someone's partial view

of your life, your strengths, or your history.
Their inability to see or appreciate the complete
version of you only limits them, not you.
Stand strong in your truth and purpose
and continue being your bad-ass, unapologetic self."
-Steve Maraboli

December 8th, 1994 - Chandler Regional Medical Center.

Katelyn Marie. 8 pounds, 3 ounces.

We're born into this world and given a name. That's it. That's what we're supposed to be known by for the rest of our life. One name. We're perfect--untouched by the world around us. Then we start getting older.. and the labels arise. Our names are used less and less by people.

You're 6 years old and you are annoying.
You're 12 years old and you just got called fat. Maybe a loser?
You're 18 years old and now you are being sexualized and looked at differently.

And what about the stigmas surrounding mental health? Shame. Embarrassment.

Does anyone really know you? Do you even know who you are anymore?

Maybe you're a wife, mother, father, son, teacher, engineer, leader, follower, etc.
Maybe you think you're afraid, lost, broken, unworthy..

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Who am I?
I'm Katelyn. At 12 years old, I was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance (depression) in my brain. At 22 years old, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety & panic. And now, at 24, I recently found out that I have sensory processing disorder (*SPD). I've been in therapy on and off since I was seven, and society teaches me to be embarrassed about it. I'm taught to stay quiet, because I'm the "crazy" girl when people realize I see a therapist and a psychiatrist. I'm overly sensitive. When I'm dressed up and going out, I'm 'sexy' or 'hot'. I'll get on your nerves, and sometimes I'm a brat. I lash out and throw tantrums that I still haven't figured out how to control. I heard someone refer to me by saying, "Oh her? You don't want to deal with her. She has depression and stuff, so she's a mess". These damn labels..
*SPD is a condition in which the brain has trouble receiving and responding to information that comes in through the senses.

We grow up hearing these horrible things about ourselves, and somewhere along the way, we start to internalize them. We believe them. We use what someone else said to define who we are. And then we say things like, "Look at this girl on Instagram, she's so _______". We've all done it. It's never positive. I wonder what her story is though. Everyone has a story.
     --Maybe that girl who you think is fat has poly-cystic ovary syndrome. She's struggling and she is already self conscious. There is more to her.
     --Maybe that father who you think is a "dead beat" never had a fighting chance. He's hurting and he wants those kids. There is more to him.

Maybe there is more under the surface that you'll never know or be able to see about someone. Just like there is so much more to you. You are so much more than your mental illness. You are so much more than the labels and the stigmas. You are so much more than every trial you have to fight through in this life. You are so much more than what people say about you. Believe that. If you ignore the labels, they won't stick. The labels are not yours to carry.

So who am I really?
I'm Katelyn. I am an advocate, a writer, a daughter.. but you know that. At 12 years old, I took piano lessons and although I'm not musically inclined, I found a love for music. At 22 years old, I truly learned how to love and accept myself on my own. And now, at 24, I'm back in my parent's house and learning to let go of people/things that don't help me grow. I go to therapy every week, and I'm a better person because of it. I am a fighter for what I believe in. I don't want to be called hot.. I just want to be pretty. Because I am. I am a lover of Jesus and know that I'm saved through him. I was blessed with a heart big enough to love every person in this world. I forgive easily. I like to dance alone in my apartment. I sing in front of anyone, without a care. I'm fascinated with the stars, and I love to play in the dirt. I still believe in magic and fairy tales. I am thankful every day for what life has put me through. I am strong, brave and powerful. I'm just me. The good, the bad.. it's all there! And I won't apologize for it.

Let the one who created you be the one who defines you. Don't let the labels stick. So who were you before the world told you who you should be?

Love, Miss KatieBug <3