September

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;

the most massive characters are seared with scars."

-Kahlil Gibran

    It has been 14 months. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm stronger than ever. Suicide Awareness Day (Sept. 10) has a different meaning to me now than it did two years ago. I was always so cautious of those around me. I thought suicide was something you could see coming, but that is not always the case. Suicide isn't always scars and sadness. It is a silent cry for help in the night while you are alone so nobody can see your struggle. It's a bright smile on your face every single day so that nobody sees your pain. It's being a listening ear because you don't want anybody else feeling the way you secretly do. Sometimes suicide is an internal battle.

    Nobody saw my warning signs, and I didn't want them to. I wanted to slowly slip away for a while. A coma would have been perfect. I was lucky enough to survive and get help, most are not. Every year suicide rates get higher and higher. I wish I could tell parents to watch their children closely, but even doing that won't always make a difference. Not only is it time to be aware.. It is time to stand up and speak up. Our stories are helping others survive the horrible illnesses connecting to suicide. Depression. Anxiety. Bipolar. ADD. Eating Disorders. We don't get to choose what illnesses we have to fight through in this life, but we do get to choose whether or not we help others fight through theirs. I'm taking a stand and I'm fighting.

    My blog is not for sympathy. My blog is to inspire others to hold on to their precious life even when they think they don't have the strength or courage. I have always been a fighter, but last year I was weak and I didn't have somebody else to fight with me. It's okay to ask for help. ALWAYS remember that. I wish I would have. Please don't give up your fight. I understand how hard it is. Don't keep your battle on the inside. Let it out. Share your story, because it will strengthen both you and others. Suicide is not selfish. It's a last resort after crying out for help for too long. Please don't use your last resort. Find a saving grace.

Love,
Miss Katie Bug <3

  Dedicated to all of the amazing English teachers I had throughout school, because without you I wouldn't be here. Your classes were my escape. Writing is my escape. Reading is my escape. Thank you. You will never understand what a difference you made in my life.