Learning to Love

"The most exciting, challenging, and significant
relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.
And if you can find someone to love the you
that you love, well, that's just fabulous."
-Carrie Bradshaw

I tried really hard to have this post out for Valentine's Day, but I'm going to be honest with you.. I know I make it seem like my life is always good these days. Let me tell you something though, I still struggle. The whole month of February was a struggle. I didn't want to go out. I didn't want to work or see people. I just wanted to relax and sleep. I don't even remember the last time I had a depressive episode like that. I beat myself up sometimes because I feel like a failure. A failure for all of the times I've loved and lost. For all of the times people have left and I've blamed myself. The month of February is for love, but how can I write about that when I don't know if I've ever really known love? 

Here's the thing, I may not know how it feels to be truly loved by someone else or to know how it feels to truly love another, but I do a damn good job at loving myself most days. So let me try writing this again.

In honor of Valentine's Day being, well, a month ago - let's talk about love. I don't mean the sappy, Nicholas Sparks movie kind of love (which is my favorite btw). I mean, the most important kind of love, self love. Most of us are so worried about finding love that we forget to show love to ourselves. Even when we're in relationships, we believe that only our partner's love is enough, but it isn't. We have to love us too! This topic is such an important one to me. Maybe because I remember a time when I didn't know how to love myself, and I never thought that I'd be able to. I used to believe that I'd find the love of my life someday and I would have everything I ever wanted and finally be happy. I didn't understand that it was possible for me to be happy on my own. And because of those toxic thoughts, I felt like I was dying a little inside every time I went through a break up. 

For the past year or so, I've really put my focus on loving myself. I've learned how to let go of people who aren't right for me. I've learned how to turn to God when things get hard, instead of wallowing in self pity. I've learned how to give myself a break when needed and teach myself healthy coping techniques. I've learned how to be in tune with my mind and body. I know what I need and when I need it. So I'm sitting here tonight and I can honestly tell you that I love everything about myself. Some days I may not like myself, but I always love me. I want you to love yourself too, even on the days that you don't like yourself very much. Here are a few steps that I took to improve myself, which in turn, taught me a lot about how to love myself. I hope you will try them, and I hope they will make a difference. 

• Positive Affirmations. Write them down, and say them out loud. You may not believe them at first, but you will start to the more you repeat them. Add details. Make your words mean something, and trust them.

"I am a radiant, confident, and inspirational Daughter of God-

that serves with joy, listens intently, and wholeheartedly loves

others and myself because I am worth it." 

• Remove, Block, Delete. Please do this! It's totally okay and super healthy to remove toxic people from your life, and/or delete them on social media. If they are filled with negative words, posts, and thoughts - bye bye!
• Ground Yourself. Do this daily. It helps you stay in a more calm and positive state of mind throughout the day. This one is hard to explain, so you might need to go look it up..
• Believe in Something. Believing in something makes it easier to believe in yourself. Find your thing. Whatever gives you a little extra strength. I, personally, pray to God for peace because He believes in me the same way I believe in Him.
• Find Hope. It's hard to live this life if you aren't hopeful. To me, hope is in every sunrise that starts a brand new day, and in every sunset that ends my tough days.
• Give Yourself a Break. If you can't handle life at the moment, take a day off of work/school. Remove yourself from a rough situation. Practice self care.
• Self Care. So important! *My personal favs and go-to's
• Read a self-help book.
• Free write in a journal*
• Do some yoga.
• Talk to a friend or a therapist.
• Buy flowers for yourself.
• Take yourself on a date*
• Bake cookies.
• Take a bubble bath*
• Plan a vacation.
• Shut off your phone.
• Solo dance party!*
• Watch your favorite movie.
• Declutter.
• Stargaze*
• Go get a massage.
• Dress up and go out*
• Practice deep breathing.
• Give yourself a pep talk in the mirror.
• Forgive. Forgive everyone who has wronged you, even if they aren't sorry. Forgive those who have hurt your family and your friends. Forgive yourself for the hell you've put others through, even if you meant whatever you did at the time. Forgive yourself for the hell you've put your own mind and body through. Just forgive.
• Choose Yourself. Just like one of my previous posts. Sometimes it's perfectly fine and needed to put yourself before others. Be selfish, when your mind and body call for it. Choose yourself. Love yourself. 

Loving yourself won't happen overnight. It may take months or years. It may take the help of others so you can see your own worth. It may take a lot of things. But when you learn to love yourself, everything else just kind of falls into place the way it's supposed to. Life becomes a little bit brighter and easier. I hope you find that love in every single part of you.

Love, Miss KatieBug <3